I have led a very sheltered life, a relatively happy and innocent life. And now all of a sudden I am faced with such things as racism, hate, and prejudice. I prefered my ignorant little existence.
I also hate how no matter how thin you are, it's just not good enough. Why do we have to be skinny to be pretty? Who decided this anyways. I can't decide if my breasts are too big or too small for my body. I'm scared of eating food more than three times a day.
I hate when the truth hurts, and I hate this on again off again weather. I miss home; the weather there is not crazy schizophrenic like here. Ever notice how no matter how clean your dorm floor is, there will always be just enough sand to get between your toes/in your bed, just enough to keep you up at night. I also hate that I am growing allergies. I never had allergies before; we'll just blame it on the old building I live in.
I'm excited to go home and pretend that we're still in high school and things are still simple and pretty. I'm excited to see my mother and spend quiet nights in with her and my pets. Having the house to ourselves. Home-cooked meals, a big comfy bed to myself, heat. Taking showers completely naked; no sandals required. Not having to bus or cab it around town. Being surrounded by familiarity. I am suddenly peaceful.
random RaNdOm RANDOM... so many thoughts flounder about. No real purpose here, just avoiding packing and showering. I found my SuperStar CarWash CD cleaning, so I am rotating between that and Ohia's latest.
Laundry party with Mel. I love my room mate. She makes me smile and keeps me up at all hours with mindless chatter of boys and love <3
All My Love To Him,